Giving & giving.

(Lost most of my pictures when I switched from WP to blogger. Slowly working on putting them back, but it's a massive undertaking so please forgive the broken image links!)



See that beach?  That's where I'd like to spend all my time.

Unfortunately, it's not something we can afford at this time in our lives.

It's really easy for me to get hung up on a want.  I decide I want something (or typically, about 65 somethings) and I usually go so far as to bookmark them or stick them on my amazon wishlist.  And then I daydream about them forever.  Right now I'm a little hung up on a beach vacation.

I've been extremely convicted over the last few years to give, though.  Giving is something inherent in my soul, even though I'm inherently greedy, too.  It's like the devil on one shoulder, angel on another scenario.  I'd say the single biggest reason I consider myself a liberal Christian is because I think giving is one of the most important things to be taken away from the Bible.  It's something we (collectively) don't do nearly enough.

I can't even begin to explain the frustration I feel when I hear Christians say things like, "I'm not handing over my hard-earned money so someone else can mooch off me!" and other such ridiculousness.  First of all, it isn't our money.  It's God's money.  Spend it wisely.  You're blessed to make as much as you do (and if you think you aren't rich, my guess is you still make more than most of the world).  Secondly, you're not taking it with you.  Third, who are you to judge who is worthy of your "charity"?  It makes my heart literally ache, and it's a theme I've seen so, so often in the past few years.  Otherwise loving and devoted Christians so bitter about paying taxes, being forced to give to people who "don't deserve it," "abuse the system," etc.

I hold on to this passage ALL THE TIME.  It keeps me going when I feel tempted to blow my money on stuff we don't need so I can fit in with everyone around me or give less one month so I can give more to myself.

³¹ “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. ³² All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. ³³ He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

³⁴ “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

⁴¹ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. ⁴² For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³ I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

⁴⁴ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

⁴⁵ “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

⁴⁶ “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

Matthew 25: 31-46

Perhaps had we been living in Jesus' time, we would have thought he wasn't "worthy" of our charity, either.  Perhaps Jesus is living among us in the homeless or the welfare mom you look your nose down on, the one you judge and scorn with your statements of their worthiness of your hard-earned money (I may or may not be actually talking to you when I say you - only you know what's on your heart).

My husband and I happily pay our taxes.  I don't mean it actually brings us joy to see how much of our paycheck never reaches our hands, because in all honesty it doesn't.  There are days I feel the same frustration about it as the next person.

²⁰ Keeping a close watch on him, they sent spies, who pretended to be sincere. They hoped to catch Jesus in something he said, so that they might hand him over to the power and authority of the governor. ²¹ So the spies questioned him: “Teacher, we know that you speak and teach what is right, and that you do not show partiality but teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. ²² Is it right for us to pay taxes to Caesar or not?”

²³ He saw through their duplicity and said to them, ²⁴ “Show me a denarius. Whose image and inscription are on it?”

“Caesar’s,” they replied.

²⁵ He said to them, “Then give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”

²⁶ They were unable to trap him in what he had said there in public. And astonished by his answer, they became silent."  Luke 20:20-26

I know I'm supposed to pay my taxes.  On the days I feel frustrated by the sheer amount we pay or the fact that some of it will undoubtedly be used inefficiently, I remind myself that God is in control and that money was never mine to begin with.

So, we pay our taxes.  And we tithe.  A few years ago, my husband expressed a desire to have a separate account where we put extra money to donate to others.  Each month, we deposit money into this account.  I have to admit I wasn't immediately excited about this.  I have a selfish heart.  I look around me at our friends and their nice cars and big homes and stylish clothes and I feel a twinge of jealousy.  Why is it that we make more money than some of these people but appear to make less?  I was so embarrassed to have those thoughts.  How selfish am I?!  How sad that I'm living by man's standards, more concerned with what a stranger thinks of me than God.

I remember during our journey through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, there's a place in the workbook where you list your expenses, and many of them have a suggested percentage listed next to them.  When we got to the line about our home, I immediately saw that we were paying less than his suggested percentage (I believe significantly) and my husband looked at me and said, "What does that make you think?"  I stopped for a second, unsure what he meant, but then I knew what he was getting at.  My first thought was that we should immediately go buy a newer, bigger home.  His first thought was pride.  In a good way.  He was happy we were paying less for our home than the average American.  I used it as justification for buying a bigger home.  An easy way to sum us up.  He is definitely the better giver, but I've learned a lot from him.

Shortly after deciding to put away extra money into a donations account, we began to see magic happen.  We started using this money.  We donated it anonymously to people in need around us.  We donated it to people we didn't know.  We were able to bless friends and bless strangers.  Just the other day at a stoplight downtown, Tim handed me cash to give to the homeless man on the corner.  How often in my life have I snubbed homeless people?  Thought to myself, they'll probably just smoke away this money or this seems like a dangerous situation or he's probably not even homeless.  Shameful!  I am seriously just...ashamed.

But once I got on board and felt what it feels like and saw what it looked like to be generous and kind and giving, I couldn't get enough.  This is why we make so much money!  I don't mean we're rich.  By American standards, we are not rich.  By the standards of the world, and I would argue of the Bible, we are very rich.  But perhaps we're rich for a reason.  Maybe God blessed us with this so that we can bless others.  We'll keep driving our old cars and living in homes that most people with our income wouldn't live in and I'll never really be able to keep up with the Jones' when it comes to style...but it's okay because I'll be getting something even better in return.  The gift of knowing that I did something good with our money.

I don't want to come off as superior.  I don't want you to think I write this because I'm so proud of us.  Far from it.  We have a long way to go.  After all, I just blew all my birthday money on a juicer, clothes and a Kindle when I could have donated it.  I am not perfect.  Right now we give as much as we can afford to.  My aspirations are to give more.  I know that there are many line items in the budget than can be scaled back so that we can do more good with our money.  And though it's a slow journey for me, I am working every day to get there.

I only want to encourage.  Had it not been for my husband, we never would have begun doing this.  You wouldn't find me getting excited about handing over our money had he not pushed me into that.  But once he did and once I began to reap the rewards, it had powerful effects on my life.  I just encourage you to look in your own heart and be real with yourself.  Could you give more?  Want less?

Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure – pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.”  Luke 6:38

Give out of a desire to do it (not out of obligation) and it will be given to you in return.  In one way or another, I promise, you will reap rewards.  Even if it isn't until Heaven.

Perhaps my reward in Heaven will be living on the beach for eternity.  :)